HANDFASTING

Anna Franklin

Hear an interview with Anna Franklin on Handfasting

NB: The Hearth of Arianrhod is now able to offer a handfasting which is a legally constituted marriage.

A handfasting is a Pagan wedding, usually the union of two individuals, perhaps two members of a coven or solo practitioners who meet and fall in love. It is the marriage rite used today by many Pagans, Druids, and Wiccans. During the ceremony, the couple declare their love and commitment to each other, and promise that they will live together for a year and a day or ‘for as long as love shall last’ in the words of one ritual. At the end of that time, they may renew their vows, make a more permanent commitment and a legal marriage, or go their separate ways. In an age when, for whatever reason, many relationships do not last a lifetime and divorce is commonplace, it is perhaps a sensible option.

It might seem to be a very modern concept but the idea of a trial marriage- usually for a year and a day- is very old. In the south of England, in Dorset, there is a cliff called Handfast Point, where presumably, many such unions were made. The ancient and Mediaeval Irish would undertake trial marriages, clasping hands through a holed stone. If the couple got on, they would make more permanent vows, if not, they would go back to the stone, and each walk off in a different direction. Some think that this is where the origin of the term handfasting originates; others think it may come from the custom of shaking hands over a contract. Then too, in some cultures, the hands of the bride and groom are bound together, and many Pagans adopt this practice as part of the handfasting ceremony.

Many Pagans think that it is very important for them to be able to declare their commitment to each other in a ritual that expresses their own beliefs, feeling that a secular ceremony is not as fulfilling and meaningful as the declaration of love before their gods and their peers. The vows are usually written by the couple themselves to express their own needs and emotions. The handfasting is generally celebrated inside a magic circle, something that Pagans believe to exist ‘between the worlds’, i.e., neither wholly in the mundane world of humankind, nor wholly in the Otherworld of gods and spirits, but partly in both. What happens in the circle affects not only this world, but also the Otherworld. The circle stands at the intersection of the worlds for the time it is invoked, momentarily at the centre of the Universe, ritually re-enacting the great cosmic theme of the love of the Goddess and the God, and the eternal verity of human love, recreated and renewed with every lover that exists or ever existed. The pair enter as two separate people, and are transformed into a declared couple, a life changing event and an important rite of passage in life’s journey.

The handfasting vows are believed, literally, to be taken before the gods, and are therefore very solemn and binding. The coven or druidic grove act as witnesses, sometimes with friends and family present [if they would like to be] with the ritual presided over by a priest or priestess, druid, clan chieftain or shaman. The couple exchange vows, promising to love and honour each other, and may give each other rings, have their hands loosely tied with coloured cords or ribbons, jump over the cauldron or broomstick, and share wine together. Afterwards there are the usual congratulations, the throwing of confetti or rice, posing for photographs and a picnic or party. The handfasting may be followed by a civil wedding.

Please note that the handfasting rite may be used by heterosexual couples or partners of the same sex. It may even be adapted to encompass group marriages. The ideas in this book are only a starting point for your ceremony. Feel free to modify and change them to your needs, to write your own rituals and vows. The day is yours, so you can shape it the way you want.

HANDFASTING by Anna Franklin, Lear Books, November 2008 [previously published by Llewellyn as A Romantic Guide to Handfsting

Chapter 1 - INTRODUCTION

Chapter 2 - THE HISTORICAL BACKGROUND

Chapter 3 - ORGANISING YOUR HANDFASTING

Chapter 4 -THE RITUALS

Chapter 5 - GODS AND GODDESSES

Chapter 6 - CHOOSING THE MOMENT

Chapter 7 - HANDFASTING THEMES

Chapter 8 - HANDFASTING CUSTOMS

Chapter 9 - WHAT TO WEAR

Chapter 10 - HANDFASTING HERB CRAFT

Chapter 11 - THE HANDFASTING FEAST

Chapter 12 - SPELLS AND LUCKY CHARMS

Chapter 13 - HANDPARTING

Appendix 1 - POEMS AND BLESSINGS FOR HANDFASTINGS

Appendix 2 - ANNIVERSARIES

Appendix 3 - USEFUL ADDRESSES

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